I wanted to keep posting here for awhile, because it seems to strange and unfamiliar to be where i am.
We are thoroughly enjoying our new church. In ways i never would have imagined.
It's liturgical, which Travis finds reverent and thus he appreciates very much.
It's joyful, full of quick tempo praise, which i love.
It's leadership is balanced, and open, and friendly.
The people are open and accepting and kind.
Our children are so happy here. So are we.
We were looking and hoping for so much less. We had never heard of this denomination, although i have probably a dozen books by "leading lights" of this family of churches. I had never really considered a Reformed church, and yet... here we are - and it fits so well...
When we moved here, i threw out a bunch of shoes i had that had never fit, but i used because finding ones that fit was impossible (i wear a size five, which is one size below what is sold in our previous town). And T took me out and bought me some size five Dr. Marten shoes. They fit *me* perfectly. I don't have to wear two pairs of socks, or try sticky tape inside, or extra insoles :) - It's effortless, and comfortable, and i love to look at them, and to wear them.
I feel the same way about where we are right now. God is so good. I'm ready to see what He was doing in the past five years - and i know it was good. And i am just enjoying each day, each week, here in this new chapter.
I hope if anyone is reading this who has had the same troubles as we have - that this encourages you. That this is possible. I was very close to thinking that maybe there just was no place for us in the Body of Christ. That we would have to just let every Christian reject us, follow Jesus, and have fellowship in Heaven.
I'm reading a book right now called Face to Face: Meditations on Friendship and Hospitality by Steve Wilkins. I feel like those "muscles" have atrophied - and it was so affirming to read the beginning where he shares his convictions about the importance of relationship.
My mom once said "it hurts to be tolerated" - i felt like if i could just be tolerated, that would be enough. But i want to pursue the image of God. I want to *be* a friend, and to enjoy Godly friendship. Hopefully He will grow me in this, too!