Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I know that's not a Christian concept - it's animist, borne from the dread of the ever present spirits - the worry that in their jealousy, if you speak your joy aloud, they will bear it away as a prize, leaving you bereft.

But i've still taken my time in writing on this blog, and it's not because things are bad :) but because God has poured out His favour on me, and i am still reeling, a little bit, inside...

For five years I've really struggled, and tried to fix it all on my own, to hear God's voice and find the good in the situation.  But for so long, it was just hard.  Very hard.  Very lonely, and with no hope of any change.  And then change came, and it only made the situation far worse.

And then, we moved.  And it seems like instead of a huge burden i have to carry around, God has answered the prayer i prayed in the Psalm i set to music -

 When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord.  
He brought me into a spacious place. 
 The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid. 
 What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 118

In so many ways, over the past three weeks, i have seen Him set things into place that i had given up on.  A spacious place.  Room to grow, to maybe not be curled into a fetal position, hoping to escape the blows.  Even our new house is "a spacious place".  And i was so worried.

One scripture i love to quote says "6The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
         Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me. (Psalm 16:6)"  And the whole Psalm really speaks to me tonight...

Psalm 16

A Mikhtam of David.
1Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in You.
2I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
         I have no good besides You.”
3As for the saints who are in the earth,
         They are the majestic ones in whom is all my delight.
4The sorrows of those who have bartered for another god will be multiplied;
         I shall not pour out their drink offerings of blood,
         Nor will I take their names upon my lips.
5The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
         You support my lot.
6The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
         Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
7I will bless the LORD who has counseled me;
         Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.
8I have set the LORD continually before me;
         Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
9Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
         My flesh also will dwell securely.
10For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol;
         Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.
11You will make known to me the path of life;
         In Your presence is fullness of joy;
         In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.