Sunday, November 22, 2009

I wanna hold your hand

sunday hike8 (1 of 1)

I used a picture of my little girl in my last post, and looking through them, two more stuck out for me.

We love getting out of the house - it's supposed to be a mild winter here this year, but the pond is frozen over, and snowsuits seem a sensible option when we go out for a hike on a Sunday afternoon...

My little girl was her biggest brother's darling until her baby brother was born, and even then, she was his tiny princess, until her baby sister was born. Now, most days, her big brother who just turned 14 runs after his baby sister who is 20 months old, cooing at her, doing ridiculous things to make her laugh and yelling at me to get the camera whenever she does something adorable.

Naynay watches from the sidelines, and her thumb sneaks unconciously to her mouth. Watching him loving the little baby makes her want his attention all the more, and so often she only gets his attention when she's being naughty.

Sometimes i am like that. I'd rather be yelled at by God than not hear His voice.

I remember praying when i was young "Please talk loud, God"... I was so amazed to find, finally, at 18, that God was interested in me, cared about me, wanted to talk to me, and was willing to teach me...

Some days i get caught up in what's wrong, why does it hurt, why does it feel so bad - and i let go of His hand to sit down and muse out the world's problems.

When i realize what i've done, i need to run up to Him, catch up, and grab for His hand...

And oh, the joy to find myself back where i belong. Back where i long to be.

sunday hike9 (1 of 1)

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