This Christmas we are without a church home, and we're okay.
It does seem bizarre to me that not wanting to participate in the church babysitting exchange (aka nursery and Sunday school) after over a decade of doing so would make me ineligible for participation in any of the other ministries of the church, but that's the fact where i am right now, and as a result my husband and I and our seven children are at home on Sundays instead of church.
God has provided a ton of beautiful activities with friends or as a family or at different churches in the weeks leading up to Christmas, and now that it's almost Christmas, it's like the snow is falling thickly and we're here in our cozy home.
This is what i suspect - and what i have suspected for months before this weird turn of events. That God doesn't want *me in particular*, to be relying on a church or its programming for my spiritual priorities. And as the example above shows, priorities are definitely pushed when you are part of a "community of believers" . But what does God want from me?
That's what i am listening for, in this season of snow, the quiet and the beautiful skies, the advent candles and the drawer full of stockings that is opened and plundered every day and then packed up again. While i have time and leisure to be at home with my husband and our seven little ones - where is He pulling my heart? Am i willing to go there?
